We first meet Nomi gazing out the window of an airplane taking her from the kibbutz that’s been home all her adult life to Massachusetts, which she has not seen since she left after a traumatic fallout with her parents in high school. Her only sister and nephew were found mysteriously dead in their big farmhouse on the outskirts of Salem, and her widowed mother is suffering from dementia in a nursing home nearby.
Recently widowed herself, and childless, Nomi, at sixty, still grapples with the consequences of the event that sent her into exile as a teenager. She hasn’t seen her mother in forty years and fears it’s too late to heal wounds that have festered far too long. She simply wants to settle her sister’s estate, make sure her mother’s safe, and return to her safe kibbutz life.
What seems like a straightforward mission is complicated by the mystery of her sister’s death, the plight of a pregnant teenager rejected by her Orthodox Jewish parents, and John, the sympathetic police officer who befriends her. The old farmhouse Nomi inherits from her sister also holds mysteries, and maybe a ghost, of its own.
To Die in Secret weaves interlocking threads of a richly complex tale of trauma, parenting, and forgiveness, as succeeding generations face horrific situations and unimaginable choices and struggle to find the hope and faith to carry on.
"Suspenseful and emotionally engaging, To Die in Secret is a compelling novel that considers the aftermath of tragedy and the cost of family secrets." — Amy Gottlieb, author of The Beautiful Possible
"To Die in Secret is full of complex, beautifully rendered characters who win your heart, settings that pull you into the New England countryside, and mysteries that keep you guessing. But more than that, it’s a book that addresses the morally fraught issues of abuse, reconciliation, and the impossible goal of trying to be a perfect parent in an imperfect world." — Patricia Averbach, author of Resurrecting Rain
"To Die in Secret is a quiet build into a redemptive roar of a story that illuminates history, ethnicity, and spirituality into one beautiful weave." — Cynthia Neale, author of Catharine, Queen of the Tumbling Waters
Bink Books
248 pp. ● 6×9
$19.95 (pb) ● $9.99 (eb)
ISBN 978-1-960373-09-0 (pb)
FICTION / Jewish
FICTION / World Literature / Middle East / Israel
FICTION / Family Life / Siblings
Publication date: July 1, 2023
Haviva Ner-David is an ordained rabbi and interfaith-interspiritual minister, with a doctorate in philosophy and an M.F.A. in Creative Writing. She runs Shmaya: A Mikveh for Mind, Body and Soul, where she officiates ritual immersion ceremonies and offers group workshops. A certified spiritual companion with a specialty and dreamwork, she works with individuals and couples. Rabbi Ner-David is the author of two previous spiritual journey memoirs (Life on the Fringes: A Feminist Journey Towards Traditional Rabbinic Ordination; and Chanah’s Voice: A Rabbi Wrestles with Gender, Commandment and the Women’s Rituals of Baking, Bathing and Brightening). Dreaming Against the Current: A Rabbi’s Soul Journey is her third. She is also the author of a novel, Hope Valley, and a guidebook for engaged couples, Getting (and Staying) Married Jewishly: Preparing for your Life Together with Ancient and Modern Wisdom (due to be published in 2022). Rabbi Ner-David is involved in peace work, promoting a shared society for Jews, Christians and Muslims in Galilee, where she lives with Jacob, her life partner of thirty-two years, their seven children, and their dog and cat. She also lives with a genetic muscular disease called FSHD, which has been one of her greatest teachers.